• I’m going on a social media hiatus this weekend. No Facebook, no email, no blogging, no tweeting. I’m unplugging the iPad, powering down the desktop and only answering my phone if Caller ID says it’s George Clooney (yeah, we’re tight like that). Seriously, I spent all five days this week glued to technology and, frankly, I got sick of myself being attached to all the gadgets. I long for the feel of a hardback book in my hands, a walk in the woods, some old fashioned face-to-face interaction with friends and real time to do nothing.
• Has anyone seen The Descendants yet? I mean, come on…Oscar nomination? George?? In Hawaii??? Does going to a movie on a cold, rainy day qualify as non-techy time? Hell yes! Feel free to join me at Lennox this Sunday for the 1:45pm showing.
• Speaking of face-to-face with friends…I had to beg off hosting my pregnant friend’s baby brunch at my house tomorrow (my bad back is still on strike – it even paraded in front of my house this morning with a picket sign that said SHAME ON YOU, BECKY J! TOILET CLEANING IS BAD FOR OUR HEALTH!) so we’re all meeting at La Chatelaine in Dublin. Oui Oui!

If you need to get a hold of me, just send up a smoke signal.

~ Henry David Thoreau

I have some “oral health issues” that need to be addressed and my dentist and his buddy, the orthodontist, agree that the only way to get jiggy wit it is for me to submit to a mouth full of metal for approximately 16 months. Yep, after several consultations, lots of X-rays, extremely unflattering photos of my face, jaw, mouth and teeth from every conceivable angle (I’m really hoping these don’t end up on TMZ and then splashed all over the Internet) and dollar signs galore, I’m taking the braces plunge.

Even at 58, a girl’s never too old to look and feel her best so here we go. And I mean “we” because you lucky followers will be going on the ride with me. I promise it won’t hurt.

Twice now in the last month, I’ve gone out to the car for something, turned on the overhead dome light and then walked back into the house, leaving the light on. The first time, my husband noticed it when he came home from work so the battery had just enough juice left to make up for my air-headedness (I just made that word up and it’s perfect, don’t you think?). This time, though, the light was left on all night so the poor little battery thingy didn’t stand a chance.

Knowing me, there will be a third and a fourth and probably even a fifth time – that’s just how I roll – but I have a feeling the money for a new battery every couple months will soon start coming out of my mani-pedi allowance and this self-proclaimed air-head can’t have that, now can I?? Lesson learned.

Besides roaming the cities where our ship docked, I took full advantage of the amenities on board – spa treatments, loads of entertainment, casinos and cocktails, swimming in every pool (I think there were five to choose from), yoga classes, sampling Italian/French/Hispanic/Asian and American cuisine  – but my absolute favorite thing to do was pour myself a glass of wine, sit on the balcony off our cabin, and gaze out into the deep blue sea…for hours at a time. Even in the pitch black of night, hearing the waves break as the ship cut through the water and feeling the warm ocean breeze on my face was a vacation in itself.

I’m reminiscing here because this time last year, I was preparing for a cruise along the Mexican Riviera on the Princess Sapphire. The Midwest winter had been super cold and super snowy so I was ready for sunshine, sunshine and more sunshine. And all I could think about was sailing away.

Which brings me to the recent cruise ship tragedy off the coast of Italy. I feel great compassion for the families who lost loved ones and I empathize with the people who survived such a harrowing ordeal. Having sailed on one of these magnificent ships, I know how excited the passengers were to finally be underway but then I can only imagine the terror and confusion they felt later on board that fateful night. It’s even more of a tragedy because it appears that ship protocol and safety procedures were ignored by the very people who were in command.

I pray for peace for all of the travelers of the Costa Concordia and for safety in the ongoing recovery effort. And I’m so incredibly grateful that my journey ended as it was intended – with joyful memories to last a lifetime.

Miss Piggy of Muppet fame is the guest judge tonight AND the muse for the designer challenge. I CAN NOT WAIT to see what they conjure up for the most glamorous female pig in America. Speaking of the Queen Pig, enjoy this little commercial I saw the other night (yep…waaaay too much TV).

1. Freezing cold outside
2. Unrelenting back pain
3. Football teams lost
4. Sick of hibernating in the house
5. Can’t sleep
6. Mad at the world
7. Out of chocolate chip cookies
8. Wish I was on the beach (duh!)
9. Out of booze
10. Out of my mind

They say you can get through anything with the right attitude. Well, I’m here to say that my attitude sucks needs a serious adjustment right now. For starters, the new steroid to help relieve my back pain has been a bust (come on, Doc, you can do better than that for your home girl). And, my right leg goes numb all the time now (but the rest of me can’t sleep at all which means you better stay out of my way if you know what’s good for you). I can’t sit and I can’t lay down (so just exactly what am I supposed to do with myself for 24 hours at a stretch?). Life goes on without me and you all know how I like to be the life of the party, right?

You see this fork? Just stick it in me because I’m so done.

FYI…my method for picking the Broncos came after watching this Jimmy Fallon clip on YouTube…I needed a good laugh after having to say goodbye to Drew Brees.